What Does It Mean To Be A Man?


If you were to ask 100 men what it means to be a man you’ll probably get 100 different answers… which is a good thing sometimes…

It seems we live in increasingly crazy times, and by that I think I really mean less simple.

When we were kids, regardless of generation, life was probably simple for most of us (God bless those who has tough childhoods). As we grow into ourselves we start to create the complexities of life mostly by our own doing.

One such societal complexity is that of the role of men and women, a pretty ancient one at that, and one seeped in cosmic mystery. Now on the blog I tend to speak only through what my experience is as a man and trying to navigate the world knowing what I know and also knowing that what I do not know far outweighs what I know.

In what feels like to be a transitional phase of our collective human experience, roles of men and women and understanding what it means to be one is in a constant state of chaos.

On my journey of understanding manhood, which is simply part of my state of existence, I try to relate to how I see my self in the world and asking the question who am I?

I actually do not want to get to existential with this but I think it is unavoidable with such discussions, and that these types of question can only be understood with awareness of the now.

Having said that I do wish to bring some order to my discussion, which I will do so by exploring the topic in section which I found to be important starting with…

Toxic Masculinity

I was relatively unaware of this term until I saw an interview with Joe Talbot of Idles (an excellent band in my opinion). Idles the band itself truly encapsulates the problems of modern man, and finds a voice for it in the most perfectly aggressive way.

I highly recommend all men (and women) listen to the album “Joy as an act of resistance” a true masterpiece of punk.

Any way the idea of “toxic masculinity” is that apparently traditional male values restrict the expression of emotion in men which leads to this mentality of the alpha male.

According to this concept is breeds homophobia, increased sexual assault, and general violence in the society.

Now I think this is utter shit… I know a lot would disagree and let me explain. I am not trying to diminish the issues that have risen during this era of patriarchy (and I don’t use this word in a negative connotation either which seems to be the norm today).

The idea of patriarchy should be the best elements of man shining through to guide culture and society to its highest potential through the ideals of the true King.

The Kings that hold the highest ideals of man; virtue, peace, love, and the realizing of the God within.

Unfortunately we are in an era where shadow Kings rule and dictate our daily lives, where there are a few examples of the latter.

I might add that the same is true for the Matriarchy, when the time comes let the lessons of the shadow king teach the women leaders of the future to do things differently.

There will be a golden age of Matriarchy but like all things that rise so to shall they fall and the time of the shadow queen will come and I dread to think what that will be like.

Photo by Luke Tanis on Unsplash

Anyway back to toxic masculinity, there is a systemic culture being built to separate us from our inner being to that which is truth itself.

The spirit of man is under attack, and terms like toxic masculinity are simply a distraction to pit us against each other. Suffering seems to be a normal state of being today, depression and anxiety the terms of the century.

You can thank material rationalism for that one and almost entirely that. All these made up problems like toxic masculinity the issues with patriarchy were being engineered just prior to the first world war in the early 1900’s.

Probably way before, in my understanding and research as early as the renaissance starting with the wanking fucking bankers, specifically the Venetians.

The Venetians were allegedly the ones who sent the Rothschild to London to extend their financial power over the world and the effects are only just reaching a culmination today.

Any way I feel I am going a mega tangent here, I’ll keep the conspiracy to a minimum. I just wanted to throw that in there because it builds a picture about this systemic dismantling of our spiritual nature, which is the crux of a lot of the issues faced by both men and women today.

The Battle Within 

The way this epoch has been tailored has lead to the nature of man to be in a constant battle with the matrix created around us, but this is a mistake. The battle comes from within, within were we men have created a trap for ourselves thinking we must be a certain way… hence this idea of toxic masculinity.

The terrific beauty of the modern matrix is that we end up building the prison we subjugate ourselves to.

The truth of being a man today is to transcendence the idea of masculine and feminine entirely… transcend the idea of individuality. For the man that means integrating the feminine energy that we have severed from ourselves or has been severed as a result of the culture.

So what is the battle within, it involves driving away fear, as I mentioned earlier this is the time of the shadow Kings. Those type of men that govern with fear and its mostly a fear within themselves which manifests as fear externally and it breeds in the culture.

In many spiritual text you can find the duality of masculine and feminine forming two parts of the whole;

Ying Yang (Taoism);

Shiva-Shakti (Hinduism);

Adam and Eve (Christianity).

Each allude to the masculine energy being the one present in the material, the fire or action; the light.

Whilst the feminine energy is a dark void energy that feeds material energy in a way it is a cosmic fuel for material existence.

Photo by Alex on Unsplash

Which is why I believe that just by its nature the feminine state is naturally more spiritually inclined; think of it as the dark side of the moon, its constantly facing the cosmos.

The other face of the moon faces the material world and can be seen the strongest when it is in its full state burning bright like the sun, which is a fully masculine state.

The sun also shows us this amazingly fiery masculine state, and the most beautiful thing about it is that it can hope to burn so bright and strong as to turn into a black hole, the ultimate feminine.

This I believe to be such a divine analogy to man here on earth; be so burning bright, so life giving, and to grow so big as to explode into a black hole of ultimate cosmic union of masculine and feminine.

The Ultimate Man 

In a way the ultimate man is not even man, nor is it woman, it is the embodiment of life itself. For the astute readers out there you would have noticed how the cover photo of this article relates to manhood.

The photo I chose is that of the Lingam, the Shiva Linga being the ultimate symbol of cosmic mystery.

On the most basic of level the union of opposites within the cosmos begins with sex.

In other words the Linga-Yoni relation being that of phallus and vagina, resulting in creation, but at the highest level the masculine feminine energy is a reflection of the whole cosmos, not resulting in creation but rather being creation.

So what does this have to do with being a man? In essence the ultimate form of man is to be in such a way that you incorporate the feminine so deeply that you become a reflection of creation itself.

By nature if you make yourself like so, you become a more complete human being because you are not denying a part of yourself. Which brings me to possibly the most important quality of man today, non-denial.

I am Capable Of So Much…

I often said to my woman that the quality of a man can be seen best on how they deal with mistakes.

It is easy to see the best in some one when they aren’t in a pressurized environment.

In a similar vein it is the things we push away the most that tend to shine through in our personas.

Which is why I believe one most be ruthless in understanding his capabilities. For example men in particular are capable of the worst acts of violence, but in not expressing it he shows true power and utilizes the energy as an energy of intensity and passion.

It is the capabilities of ones shadow that man must rise above, only then can he embody the essence of true Kings.

Thank you for reading!

If you find this kind of stuff interesting please consider checking out our podcast where we discuss the art of being human.