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How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship With Your Woman.

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Healthy Relationship Tips For Couples

Finding love is one thing, keeping it is another… well to be honest love is all around us we just need to open ourselves to it.

Of course I am talking about relationships, the network of humanity that keeps the universe in motion, but I am specifically referring to the romantic kind, the troublesome kind… only kidding.

So here on the blog, I like talking about romantic love, unfortunately for some not about finding love but being in love, but relationships can be hard, so have you been doing your maintenance?

I sometimes like to peruse Reddit and every so often will come across the subreddit “ask men”, with hilarious topics such as:

“ My wife just informed me that we have been in a fight for 3 days. What things have you been clueless about in your relationship with your SO?”

Which is partly what inspired me to write this article, among other things.

So what do I mean when I refer to maintenance? I am talking about the everyday, the mundane… the laissez-faire… wait no that is something else you definitely want to be hands on with this one *wink wink* (small economics joke for you). Maintaining a healthy relationship can be joyful and easy however so don’t let the mundane scare you off. 

With how busy modern life keeps you it’s pretty easy to forget the things you love and the people you love, so the first step is to remind yourself of that love, your love(hopefully she lives with you then it’s pretty hard to forget, especially when you put the milk in the fridge the wrong way… again only joking kind of).

Any way, what I like to do as part of my daily practice is a 20 minute meditation. In that meditation, or rather at the end of it, I like to remind my self of the good things in my life, and the #1 is my fiance.

So step one is really…

Self Love

And I am not referring to the touching kind, I mean the kind you would know about if you have cats…

Let me explain, cats tend to only show you love after you feed them and this, I have noticed, is because they are smart. They fill their own bowls, emotionally or otherwise, before filling yours.

How can you expect to fully love and take care of another if you don’t do it for yourself.

Beware not to get lost in this or you might neglect the needs of the other which is the whole point of this article.

Also in terms of the meditation I highly recommend you check out Sadhguru, he has an amazing understanding of our spiritual nature and practical ways to integrate it into our lives.

Anyway moving on to the next point, which is the worst part of any relationship… arguments.

Our little boy Zaps… master of self love

The Thing About Arguments…

 

is that it forms part of the package of maintaining a healthy relationship, you don’t have arguments, you don’t have a relationship or at least not for long. So don’t fool yourself into thinking that no arguments means a lasting relationship. 

It doesn’t matter what it is about; money, job pressure, children, or my personal favorite “that one time you left a dirty sock on the floor and it reminded her of the time your told her she is acting like her mother”.

Arguments form the backbone of relationships because it allows a pressure release in a controlled way, more so it allows both parties to air unconscious habits that they can reflect on. But I have some tips about arguments for the men, and this could actually work for women too.

ADMIT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

I can guarantee you in every situation that you will always have a part to play (it is extremely rare that it is completely one person and not the other), do not play the blame game; it doesn’t help anyone especially your own personal growth.

You know that famous Spiderman quote:

“with great power comes great responsibility”

Well think of it the other way round

“with great responsibility comes great power”

The higher responsibility you hold in any given situation the better your ability to change the outcome, and then you have the power to change it for the better. Remember your not arguing to win, your are arguing to find solutions and in the best of cases integrate the shadow parts of yourself.

It then becomes easier to see yourself as a solution to the problem and handle it like a man, which your woman will greatly appreciate.

I am also not saying you have the take the blame for everything (which will just weaken you in the eyes of your woman), I am saying take responsibility which strengthens your ability to respond and fix the problem.

This will also help your confidence dramatically, because then you are starting to adopt the archetype of the King, which is what you should be aiming to be; be the King to her Queen, and it’s your responsibility to make sure it happens for the both of you.

It’s The Little Things

 

Who doesn’t like a huge romantic gesture? But it’s so much effort I hear you say… and you’re right! Besides, you got to be in the right frame of mind for it.

Keep it simple, your woman will love those big romantic gestures but it’s the little things you do everyday that add up.

Complements by 1000 cuts

OK I’ll be the first to admit I slack on this a little bit (plus my love proofreads these articles and I ain’t gonna be the one loading her gun so here is my insurance clause!), sometimes you’re tired and you forget to mention it.

Word of advice: just remember every time you leave the house or whenever she is getting ready for whatever reason (even when getting into bed). I know your woman is gonna put the effort to make herself look beautiful, so mention it, but also don’t forget she isn’t doing it for you…

You don’t have to put in a huge amount of effort to keep it up either; compliments are one thing, actions are another.

Micro Gifts

These aren’t big things… hence micro gift. I’ll give you an example, you are picking up some messages (groceries) get her a drink she loves, something she likes to eat (her favorite snack); she didn’t ask for it and that is exactly why you should get it (if she asks it doesn’t count).

You might be thinking what’s in it for me? You selfish shit! But no, honestly the payoff is amazing, but consistency is key! (you want blowjobs you gotta earn ‘em or make bets; but that’s for another article).

We all slack, and even I don’t take my own advice, but truly I have had the best of times when I remain patient with myself and her.

It’s Not Me It’s You!

Lastly, I hear this a lot from men in my peer group that are in “complicated” relationships, and that is the blame game; remember when I was talking about responsibility?

Well here is the gist, unless you are in a truly toxic relationship there is no such thing as a “complicated” relationship, you create suffering and that’s that.

If you are truly committed to the ideals of love and the fundamental engine of the Cosmos, you either break that shit up or you find a solution, there is no in between.

There is nothing to maintain if the ship is sinking, the whole point of maintaining a healthy relationship is that there is something to maintain.

So, the ultimate form of maintenance comes down to taking a frank look at the relationship you are in and to ask yourself is this worth it? If the answer is yes, you try your damn hardest to fix that or your suffering will be great and there will be no one to blame but yourself.

If the answer is no, then you have an obligation to get yourself out of there, both you and her deserve that — no pussyfooting.

Thanks for reading, if you are new around here Antoni and I run an awesome podcast that you should check out here on the website or on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

We appreciate all your loving support!